Realbright Sunrae has been the target of a kind of smear campaign lately. Ordinarily, we wouldn’t pay much attention to that. The stuff I’ve seen on Facebook and elsewhere would look more at home under a bridge with a spray can; quite a dismal lot. If this is the best these folks can do, Vanderbilt has some really good entry-level writing classes.
On the other hand, one of these insults stood out from the rest, describing one of us as a “wall-eyed, bung-nosed, bullet-headed, rapacious, old baboon.”
This sparked a lively debate at headquarters. Which one of us is this meant for? I assured my boss, Mike, that from the physical description, it must be him. However, Elaine, our chief financial officer, pointed out that Mike is hardly rapacious, so they must mean me. Well, if it is me, I resent the “old.” Elaine is certain that it isn’t her, and since she handles the paychecks, Mike and I both hastened to agree.
All we want to do is bottle and sell drinking water, make a profit for our stockholders, pay for a college tuition here and there, maybe once in a while a new pick-up. In doing this, we want to be your good neighbors, bring some jobs into the county and maybe give back a little to the hundreds of residents who have gone out of their way to welcome us.
Thanks, folks; we appreciate it.
And to the dozen or so people who are writing these nasty insults, would it be asking too much to get some better writers on the job?
Your copy is boring, your points banal, and your approach is tiresome.
If you’re going to publish this stuff, couldn’t you at least make it entertaining?
Dr. Robert Beeman, chief operations officer, Realbright Sunrae